1. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing; Either the car is new or the wife.

 

  1. What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic?
  • Stress is when wife is pregnant;
  • Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant;
  • Panic is when both are pregnant!

 

  1. Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?

         Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away!

 

  1. A young boy asks his Dad: “What is the difference between confident and confidential?

Dad says: “You are my son, I’m confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that is confidential!

 

  1. A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman;

“Which book has helped you most in your life?”

The woman replied, “My husband’s cheque book!”

 

  1. A prospective husband in a book store, Do you have a book called, Husband the Master of the House?

         Sales Girl: “Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 1st floor!”

 

  1. Someone asked an old man: “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife Darling, Honey, Love.” What’s the secret?”

         Old man: I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her!*

 

  1. Wife: I wish I was a newspaper. So I’d be in your hands all day.

          Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper. So I could have a new one every day!*

 

*Laughter Is The Best Medicine Ever…*