A guy suspected that his wife was cheating on him, so he hired a Chinese detective…the cheapest one he could find
This is his report
Most honorable sir,
You leave house. I watch house. He come house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go hotel.. I climb tree. I look window. He kiss she. She kiss he. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall off tree. I no see
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning all up against a wall. The owner asks the clerk,
OWNER – What’s with that guy over there leaning on the wall?
CLERK – He came in this morning to get something for his cough. Since I couldn’t find the cough syrup, I gave him an entire bottle of laxative.
OWNER – You idiot! You can’t treat a cough with laxatives!
CLERK – Oh yeah? Look at him standing there. He’s afraid to cough!
Smile a while..
The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said,
‘This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?’ The boss told her he knew he’d closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.
As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up.
He then understood his assistant’s question about his ‘garage door.’
He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, ‘When my garage door was open, did you see my Jaguar parked in there?’
She smiled and said, ‘No, I didn’t. All I saw was an old minivan with two flat tires…