For my last article of 2021, I wanted to offer this letter of forgiveness as a gift to anyone who feels willing and ready to let go of an old wound(s) they still carry. I created this template when I was ready to forgive a friend who was unsupportive. Although I felt vulnerable, I knew intuitively that taking this action would liberate me. I was able to forgive her once I became aware that I was holding her responsible for a pain that originated long before we met. Forgiveness is a gently internal process that is gradually attained from a deep unification of loving and accepting the self. Please do not attempt to do this if your wound is still raw with waves of emotions. Self-compassion is key to this process as well.
Please understand that forgiveness is not giving others permission to hurt you or condone a behavior that is unkind. The truth is, our human pain, except for a few outliers, originates from an unpleasant experience that occurred in the past that we did not allow to pass through our heart and dissolve. The experience is then replayed mentally which “makes us” emotionally shackled to the past. I find many spiritual teachers oversimplify forgiveness by saying, “just let go”, but what does that mean practically?
It’s my hope that by sharing this practical step-by-step template, it will help your forgiveness process be nice and easy because that is what it’s supposed to feel like. I remember the day I forgave. A tiny feather mystically appeared out of nowhere and landed on my arm. I took that as a sign that I was moving in the direction of my heart, and I felt free. This stuff works! Enjoy the healing.
Dear (FILL IN THE NAME),
I hope this message finds you in Divine health.
I am guided by SPIRIT (substitute Spirit with another name that feels authentic for you or omit) to send you this letter of forgiveness. I have held on to (INSERT FEELINGS i.e., anger, resentment, blame, etc.) towards you for not (INSERT NEED/REASON i.e., loving, validating, appreciating, etc.) me. I forgive you.
I now realize that I was making you responsible for a wound I unconsciously carried within myself. Throughout our relationship, I looked to you and others “to make me feel” (INSERT NEED/REASON, i.e., feel safe, accepted, loved etc.) I was unaware that what I thought “should” come from you, I first needed to lovingly give to myself.
As I honestly reflect on my life, I am taking responsibility for my feelings before projecting them unto you and others.
I now feel empowered to hold myself and you in loving compassion while acknowledging and asking for what I need.
Forgiving you does not negate my (INSERT NEEDS/FEELINGS, i.e., safe, accepted, loved, etc.) but it does help me to understand and accept that you get to choose who and how you want to be. It also allows me the freedom to create my own healing environment and make the necessary adjustments without making others feel wrong.
Thank you for the lesson.
May you be well
May you be at peace
May you be loved
Tamara Speid is a heart-centered revolutionary, guide, and experience artist devoted to empowering you to awaken from the mindset of struggle by experiencing a life filled with beauty. Follow Tamara on IG @thespeidexperience or visit her online at www.thespeidexperience.com.